CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE, VIOLENT IS OPTIONAL

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands

The word “submit” is translated from the Greekword hupotasso. which basically means under order. The implication is that of a chain of command that is ordained by Olodumare. When used in relationsembraces that  him, the meaning is absolute in that there is no one higher in the chain-of-command than Olodumare. Secondly, He will never ask us to do anything that He will not enable us to do or anything contrary to righteousness.

The husband is second in the chain-of command. The facts that are true and consistent about Olodumare are not always true of husbands. Husbands often expect wives to do things that the husband has not enabled the wife to do. 

For instance;  A husband should not expect his wife to provide nutritious and delectable delights for his meals when all he has provided is a paltry budget for food.

 He should not expect his wife to keep an orderly home when he is the primary source of its disorder.

 A husband has no right to demand that his wife submit to him in anything that Olodumare has forbidden. 

A wife is not obligated to obey unrighteous commands. 

E.T.C....

The first criterion for a young woman to carefully consider is the character of the person she intends to marry. The very nature of a person’s external priorities reveals vast quantities of facts about his character. Find a man who have Iwa Pele  first and foremost and you will not have to spend the first few years of your marriage relationship praying for a miracle of transformation in his life. Selfish people will destroy everything they dominate. They manipulate and desecrate. They do not edify. Do not let desperation or lust determine who you will marry. When choosing a husband or wife, do not trade loneliness for misery.

A father that does not know how to love his wife and daughters will create disparate women who reach out for any semblance of affection from anybody that comes along their pathway. Fathers are forced to watch in horror as some degenerate monster seduces his daughter away, and sometimes even his wife. Men put too much emphasis on the submission of their wives. They would solve the dilemma they create if they would be more concerned about being a husband trustworthy of his wife’s gift of submission.

Do not confuse the gift of submission with forced submission. Forced submission will eventually seek to escape from the person doing the forcing. It is not difficult to gift submission to a husband who manifests both the principle of omoluabi and Iwa pele both in words and actions. If a man has married a good and spiritually cultured woman and a woman has married a good and spiritually cultured man, neither will find it difficult to fulfill their roles in their marriage relationship. It will not be difficult to submit to your husband  if your husband is living a disciplined life. 

However, if your husband lives like the monster and acts like a bull dog, expect to find great difficulty living with him and submitting to his decisions.The wife in relationship to her husband is the primary model that shapes a culture in that it shapes the lives of her children.

 

Husbands, love your wives

Our physical natures seek to dominate by bullying and anger. The word “dominance” will send a shiver up the spine of most women, and so it should. No one wants to be dominated in any part of their life. When the term is applied to marriage, it becomes even scarier.Women have been considered inferior for centuries. you look at history and women are sold, abused and even traded and all kinds other stuff. Things like that will most likely never change. The thing is some women don't do anything about it, they don't express their feelings and they let men walk all over them. it's because women let men walk all over them that the dominant thing passes on to the children and they grow up to think that's right. These are merely lecherous methods of manipulation to control. An abusive, unloving, husband, who lack discipline and iwa pele, will do more to destroy the influence of the children than anything else. Poor spiritual leadership in the home is the culprit that destroys families and ultimately destroys the cultures in which those families exist. Rebellion begins in the home.

The wife’s rebellion is equally destructive to a culture. This is the outcome of the Feminist Movement.  Osun was the first deiety to start women's liberation. Granted, ungodly husbands are the primary cause of rebellion in the lives of their wives. Feminism is a reaction against a cultural aberration created in most part by men abusing the leadership roles in the home. The Feminist Movement helped women escape from abusive homes on numerous levels. In some cases, it is difficult to criticize due to the extreme abuse that exists in many homes. 

 It is easy to see the cascading nature of cultural aberrations when wives and husbands fail as godly role models. Cultural failure is like a rock-slide that begins when one rock begins to slide and becomes more destructive as the slide becomes magnified in each succeeding generation.

The primary definition of a man loving his wife is selflessness. Imagine what our children’s’ lives might be like if fathers could model and reproduce this character in their children. What is the single most annoying character flaw that manifests gross and discussing immaturity in anyone’s life? What are the two word’s that communicate this single most annoying character flaw manifesting gross and disgusting immaturity in anyone’s life?

1.       Me

2.       Mine

Love is a gift given of grace. Love is not a gift given because it is deserved.  love is always selfless and sacrificial. This is the way a husband is to love his wife. This is the model of loving that the father teaches his children.

A selfish person refuses to recognize his selfishness. Therefore, a selfish person will never confess he has been selfish to his wife or children. The first avenue of correcting being unloving is to admit . The second avenue of correction is to confess it to your wife and children. The third avenue of correction is to stop living selfishly and begin living selflessly. Take away the impatient, harsh, and critical words and replace them with tenderness, understanding, and nurturing patience.

 

Atete se oogun

Omo kekere

To ba gbo iburu

Yi o dide

A yi ile

A tamora

A si gba apo oogun bo orun

Adifa fun osolake

Nijo ngbogun lo ilubirin

Sun mo o mi

Ogun ni obirin

Po gege mo o lorun

Ogun obinrin ni

 First to strike is first to win

At first alarm the young warrior dashes into his armoury

Don his battle –dress replete with amulets and charms and attacks the enemy

Thus declared Ifa Oracle to Osalase on his way to besiege that fortress which woman hide and defend from intrepid male assault

In this peculiar battle

Caresses and embraces

Are weapon of offence

Best calculated for victory.

Ifa categorically spell it out in odu Osemosa, that caresses and embraces are the weapon to win a war with women not violent. Why dont you caresses and embraces your woman today just as Olodumare has specify.